My search for true love

A reader writes to me:

In searching for love, you seek one of the most elusive creatures ever to grace the face of this world. I would not pretend to define love for you, because from your words I gather that you fully understand love.

I am reminded of a story that I read when I was a young boy. The story was of a valiant warrior named Akira and his quest to overcome the greatest and most fearful of dragons. Akira was trained by the greatest swordsmen, taught by the most enlightened teachers, and raised by a family who adored him. When all of his preparations were complete, Akira thanked all of those who had helped him to prepare and then he began his quest. He searched through villages, mountains, and the surrounding countryside. For years his search continued, but try as he did, Akira could not find the fiercest of all dragons. Tired and homesick, Akira then returned to the arms of those who loved him and spent a lifetime wondering about his unconquered foe. At the end of his journey, Akira, smiled at the lucidity that visited him in his last moments.  Akira had been seeking the dragon in every conceivable hiding place and all the while his greatest foe had been hiding within himself!

What impresses me so much about you, you have already discovered such a profound truth. In finding love, one only needs to look within oneself and in order to receive love, one must first be willing to give it. You have freely given your love to this world, and although I am just a small part of it, I would be honored to give you my love in return.

I am a simple human who was born of the earth, so I do not pretend to know of heavenly matters. Therefore, I cannot predict the outcome of your search, but I wish you the best. May you succeed in finding all those things that you seek.”

I often wonder if I have something in common with Akira.  I even wonder if I might just end up as Akira did.  However, so far I have not had any such issues and each and every person that I have contacted so far has taught me something new.

Only through this effort have I been able to go right to the heart of a person from the very first moment, which is such an effective way to connect with other human beings.  Prior to this I used to reach out to people in the manner that is most common – lot of small talk, then getting to know their outward personality, and only when you reach a certain level of comfort you can penetrate their hearts.  What an inefficient way of doing something that should be so simple!  If you want to reach the bottom of the heart, why not start there?

I often wonder why we have to go on dates when all you end up doing is to act what you are really not.  Then when you are successful in fooling others about you after a couple of dates, you get ‘serious’ (which leads to commitments and may be lots of sex).  In some cases, however, depending on the number of years that we are able to hide our true selves, we eventually find out the real person behind the veil and that is when the problems begin.  Some intellectual types or the ones that have no option (due to cultural or financial reasons) compromise, either by suffering or engaging in adultery.  Others who feel strongly break up or get a divorce – all of these actions, however, produce a lot of pain for all parties involved (it is even worse when kids are involved).

I am not only trying to have a better life for me but also trying to bring this issue up for discussion among all adults who beat around the bush too long rather than aiming for the heart of someone they desire.  Let me see this no one will give you a hard time if you aim for the bottom of the heart – and if they do, it should not take too long for you to decided what to do next!