Why women should let their husbands cheat?

One of the biggest fears that a woman in a relationship has is that her man will cheat and abandon her for someone younger, or in some cases for a cougar, and even worse, for another man.  The reality is that married men are attracted to other women but they rarely take things so seriously with them.  For a man to flirt or fling or an extramarital affair is no more serious than watching a baseball game or going ice-fishing.  In most cases, men never leave their wives or children and more often break the hearts of women who fall in love with them than those of their wives.

In some cultures (Japan, France, maybe others), women know this and do not demand 100% fidelity.  As long as the man is married to them, loves them (even if he has some emotional connection with other women), and plans to keep things stable, they leave him alone to entertain himself with others from time to time.

It is societies in which women expect absolute commitment (some women even frown if their husbands talk to another woman), marriages end very quickly and couples fight non-stop over small things like why was he smiling at the neighbor or why did he talk to his friend’s wife in the party.

It is in this context that comments of a Japanese man Seiji Date caught my attention in an interview published in the Japan Times.  He said, “Men love
messing around, but no man loves a mess. Married men have extramarital affairs, but they almost never divorce in order to be with their lover. The reason is that such men think that they will do the exact same thing again. They think that if they divorce and marry their lover, they will find a new lover and be forced to divorce again, and so on. So why do it? I’ve seen this attitude in a lot of my friends. All are still happily married to their wives.  Wives should not worry about their husbands’ love affairs. He will dump her for sure! It’s just a matter of time, so don’t worry.”